# tmo

## Writing. Intentionally. Because I Can.

Does this matter? Longterm?

No.

This is an online diary that I maintain for my own purposes and if people happen to read it then...bonus. Like I said on here before “I like to write about things that I like to help me understand why I like them” (which is a quote stolen from a historian of art from the Institute of Advanced Study). But I never heard anything encapsulate my writing and the reasons for it more than that. I write about things to help me understand...myself. My thoughts. My feelings. MY perceptions. Quite cathardic, really.

I have no past diaries or journals or blogs with which to compare my old style of writing(s) as I have gone out of my way to delete said blogs and journals from the Internet. That includes two celebrity gossip blogs (mostly humor and satire, I'm sure), a Tumblr blog (personal blog, full of a lot of emo-y bullshit), and then this blog. Numerous journals, diaries and offline mediums of entering text (incl typewriter journals) have been created, read over, then destroyed. E-books as well. I spent the better part of two years writing “Job Corps Rules” (to be interpreted as “the rules of Job Corps”, not “Job Corps rulez, man!”, and in the process of writing that book (which I wanted to get a traditional publisher for), I more or less had a mental health relapse and sort of lost my mind for the better part of five months, and that book got scrapped, abandoned, deleted. I do not regret working hard on it NOR scrapping the project. I simply didn't desire to see it though any longer. Instead something else sprung up from my offline writing: “Newer Systems” (the first entry in the Littered Thoughts” e-book). And I will expand on that e-book over time, I think. Publishing is a tricky business, though, I have discovered.

Anyway, enough writing for now

Be back in a bit!

## As Minimalist As It Gets

Pixel 3a, Logi keyboard, my fingers for typing. That's as bare bones minimalist as my “tech set-up” gets. If Iam notdoing this I am holding the damn phone in my hands and using my tech that way. But this offers a clean environment. The desk has no other occupants other than my e-cig (and case that I removed from the phone so it fits in the (too slim) Logi keyboard stand), so, it works. Very happy with this Logi purchase. And phone purchase.

So what else? What comes next?

Well, I am going to be donating to somereal causes here soon (Planned Parenthood, a stray rescue place in Portland (the latter doubling as a wedding gift to my cousin that asked for donations there in lieu of presents), and some other places as well). I am also buying a bit of workout/everyday clothes, and perhaps some silver. Blah blah, tobacco, blah blah, the usual stuff. And forthat matter, I do not know why my mind is on money at this hour (4:48 AM)? Probably because i did my budget before (kinda) sleeping last night and it was on my mind, but also because I don't have a lotof use for disposableincome these days. Glad itis there, yeah, but as I have been saying: once you get your life down to the essentials, you can start doing other things. Some travel. Some invest (as I sorta do with silver). Some do other stuff with their money, but I tend to donate my money to causes I believe in. I am going to sign up for automatic deductions for the places I mentioned, as I already have automatic deductions taken out monthly for some smaller services every month (an indie bookseller who writes great informative newsletters, ThinkPrivacy.io, the Mastodon instance I belong to, etc.) I also keep an eye out on Mastodon (and Instagram) for GoFundMe's for LGBTQ+ issues such as legal defense funds for this or a top surgery fund, things like that. I feel like I am humblebragging or some shit now so I am going to stop talking about donations.

Back to #minimalism – your priorities, whatever they may be, can move higher in your list of priorities or they can be made more achievable once you reach a “comfortable” level of minimalism. For me, it was a sortof “no stone unturned” dogmatic/spartan minimalism. Certainly never worried about “excess” stuff lying around as it is gona the second it isn't fulfilling a daily or weekly purpose.

This feels good

Be back in a bit!

## The Path Of Least Resistance

I take this path often. Too often, I feel. Particularly when it comes to money matters. I tend to buy the cheapest, easiest, quickest thing and don't consider what I really want, longterm.

So, I am going to change that in July 2019. Instead of WASTING $$on things that are superfluous and that I do not need, I am going to spend that money on something I have damn well wanted for a long time that is important to me: a tattoo! I am going to get the memorial tattoo for my dad that I have wanted for quite some time (since his passing in January). I am done with taking an easy way out with how I spend money and I need to stop being so frugal (to a fault). Time to live again. ## Bye, Chromebook That's it. It's dead. I can't turn it on and all day long it was crashing while I was in the middle of using it so as far as I am concerned, it is a paperweight. That leaves me with being mobile-only again, and having only a Pixel 3a to get me through whatever WWW use I wanna do for the foreseeable future. I am fine with being mobile-only, I am not fine with spending a couple hubdo on a Chromebook that I figured could make it 5, 6 months at the least, and then dies after two months. And computers are a massive investment for me. I can't buy a new one every year (like I have had to do in the past). In fact, I couldn't even afford the Pixel 3a PHONE if it weren't for the mom's helping out and going “halfsies” on it with me. So, goodbye laptops. Goodbye desktops. Done with em. I might buy an iPad at some point in the future, but that is costly, too, and I won't be able to afford it in the next couple months. Can't do a lot with one of them anyway, so i may as well just stick with the Pixel. That's all ## Some Thoughts On Quitting College Some tips (not tips on how to quit), but really, things to consider: 1) if you have -10% doubt about going to college, go anyway. And decide, for sure, yes or no, if it is right for you in the first semester. If yes, stay. If no, leave and go to a trade school. Be useful. 2) if 11%+ unsure about college. Then no. Don't go. It isn't right for you and you either will waste your time or/and money and never make it out of debt. 3) Community college your first two years. NObody, andI mean NOBODY gives a fuck if you went to a great, kickass school for all four years. It is a falacy that people pay attention to that shit on resumes. 4) Higher education in the traditional sense, is an indoctrination program into conformity. You can be many things while posessing a college degree, but a non-conformist is not one of them. If this is a characteristic you value, forget college. 5) If you decide to not go to college, that doesn't give you the excuse to stop learning. Always learn. Always self-educate yourself. Always thirst for more knowledge. Always be a lifelong learner and a student of life. Always independently seek out new knowledge. That's all, thanks. ## A Day Spent Inside Because it is humid as fuck outside and I have nothing special to do. I did however get my renter's insurance bill and the monthly cost is going UP, unfortunately, so I am probably going to make large chunks of payments three months in advance this time, as I do not want to pay 30 per month every month. I also did my budget and I think (I know) I will have enough for some tobacco and a new tobacco pipe. I think I am only going to buy one pouch or tin at a time though because I don't need to be a DAILY pipe smoker. Fuck that noise. More of like a little treat I treat myself to every month or so. I am also awaiting bloodwork results via snail mail that I can look however (and hopefully the results are GOOD) and show to my psyche doctor that initially ordered the bloodwork. Just always have to keep an eye on things. I feel great, though. I even gave up energy drinks and dark colas some time ago (which I have blogged about before). Really happy with that decision. One thing I am putting in the budget (when the time comes) is some decent workout gear. I forget the name of the company that I am going with for every individual piece of gear, but I am going to be buying (directly from the co, NOT Amazon) a Merino wool tanktop, Wool Buff, DarnTough socks, and some shorts. The rest of the gear I would need I have (undies, hiking shoes, etc.). So I am pretty ecited about that because it will allow me to get out there and hike more often even if rain is in the forecast because I just got a nice rain jacket for Summer. Good times. It seems that everyone in my family is making a conscious effort to eat more healthy, get more exercise, and just make wiser decisions in the past few months. This is a very good thing because we don't need to have a bunch of sickos around. LOL! So, that's what's going on right now. Be back in a bit! ## Impossible To Figure Out ...how a Web server actually works. I asked everyone everywhere and either it is too much to say in a “tl;dr” or no one wants to take the time to explain is or something but at this point I am thinking about keeping PSShub.online on carrd.co (where it is now) and just leaving it there. There are a lot of things I can do if I had my own Web server and i don't know what projects would pop up, but it would be nice to be able to build stuff when I wanted to. That's all I gotta say ## Hey, All Happy Father's Day (to the real dads out there) Today was good and chill. Went to a decent restaurant and i got some great pizza, then had dessert at the 'rents house afterwards. Was a good time. This Chromebook has been rebooting after it falls asleep which requires an actual reboot every time i wake it from sleep and it has been doing this for the past three days. idk what is causing this, but it could probably be beneficial to replace it at some point. I don't want to do that (right now) because it isn't that old, but, we'll see. Anyway, it is a nice (but humid) day here in STL, and I don't have anything else to do for the day so I am going to just sit inside and chill and write and write some more. Be back in a bit! ## Sitting Here. Relaxing. It was a niceday and an even nicer night. I decidedto pair the Logi keyboard with the Pixel 3a and do some typing this way. The best “set up” I could imagine would be an iPad Air (newest model, not Pro, I want TouchID) and their keyboard case and have it tethered to this PIxel 3a on the side. Now I can say I can finally go #iPadOnly and now have to give up on any of my Web design projects because of the range of support in iPadOS. Anyway, such a set up is a long way off (because$$has to happen first), but I am curious if people will see the iPad lineup as just “alternative computers” and start going mobile-only as in, truly mobile-onlyand just start using their phones for everything and doing it just for the damn sake of doing it? I know there is that type of mentality on the WWW these days. If something becomes easy, or convenient (like the iPad is becoming): people will go the opposite direction in the mindset that they are pushing themseleves outside of their comfort zone. I know that I am probably one of those people. But then again I have been mobile-only for years on end and had absolutely no problems with it (even though it is very difficult to work with that (lack of) set up). Which also brings me to another point: why am I pursuing a CompTIA??? I mean it is something to do, but couldn't I just do what I am doing now w/o the need for a cert in a field which I never plan on working??? Valid questions, indeed. Anyway, that'sabout all for now. Be back in a bit! ## 5 AM. Good Morning. I am still awake from last night. I need to get some sleep some time before noon because that is when I have to be awake to go to a doctors appt (6 month check-up). I just had coffee even though I am supposed to be “fasting” so I am not really of to great start to ensure the best possible bloodwork. Nevertheless, I am wide awake and felt like writing and I am not sure what to write about so I will just recount what I have been doing for the past five hours. It started with a NYT story about higher education and how the “Anti-College Movement Is Growing” (or some headline to that affect). I read the article, and even saved it to Feedly, because I thought it was very well-written and it linked to a bunch of different two-year liberal arts schools where the focus is on life skills, deeper life meaning, leadership, critical thinking, etc. and not just about regurgitating information fed to the student, and studying for the test, and cramming, and late nights, and packed auditoriums, and thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars in student loan debt. In fact, the few schools they mentioned in the article had very cheap tuition, at least one of which was based on a sliding-scale model. One institution that was not mentioned, however, was Quest University in Canada which is my personal favorite in terms of New Thinking From The School Of Old (my terminology there). There, they completely re-did the model of what a higher education institution looks like and they have a much more egalitarian “hierarchy” (which is probably an oxymoron) in that the teachers are considered “tutors” and there is a much more personalized, face-to-face, individualized approach to the curriculum. I saw one of the founders of the Uni do a Ted Talk where he described the entire system and it was fascinating and I wish American Universities (or at least community colleges) would do the same. The institutions in the NYT article are definitely breaking away from the way things are done in regular colleges across the U.S., and this is a very good thing, because our college system in America is broken beyond belief (even if it didn't have crippling debt tied to every horror story, it would still be a nightmare). From the articles read, videos watched, Wikipedia entries viewed – I come to realize that probably the only thing propelling our malignant college culture forward and the debt it (the students) accrue, and the idea that it is somehow an “investment” in their future is this bullshit “hustle culture” and the one-in-a-million, fairy tale, glass mansion on a hill guru like Dave Ramsay, and just about anyone or anything that is telling you that you just gotta “_______” and pull yourself up by your bootstraps in order to get them darn loans paid off. No. That's now how math works. There's no unified, silver bullet solution to a debt crisis and as much as people love to talk shit about how they got X amount of loans paid off by this, that, or the other thing, they are the exception to the rule and if that weren't true, we wouldn't be looking at1.5T in student loan debt among the young adults in the United States.

I am not just saying all this because I am vehemently against learning. What I am saying is that college is no longer a:

• ticket to prosperity
• affordable
• accessible (to many Americans, still)
• a place where great minds meet
• an investment in your future

What college has become is:

• a place to get a degree that amounts to a job hunting license
• a place to accrue massive amounts of debt, altering the course of your future,
• a place where accrued debt ensures your servitude and complacency in your (if you're lucky) position of future employment

What's an alternative?

Well, for one, if you are fresh out of High School (and yes, I still recommend getting a HS diploma or GED), cross college off your list of “things to do in life” Right Now, and instead you can focus on some other things such as: