tmo

That is what Instagram and Twitter and Facebook are to me. I stopped using Facebook a long time ago. I just now deleted my Instagram account because the only reason I went back there was to “keep up” with a handful of people and I just decided that those people are not worth putting my info/data in the hands of Facebook (who own Instagram). Twitter exists. I wish it didn't exist. I feel very addicted to Twitter and I think there would be many (much?) fewer accounts on that Website if they just deleted your data the second you clicked the “delete my data” option instead of them just sitting on it for 30 days for no reason whatsoever other than to lure you back in. It's like trying to quit crack cocaine and living with a god damn crack dealer in your house. It won't fucking work.

That's all I wanted to say.

Essa O'Neil is 100% correct in her stance of being a once social media “star” and then abandoning all the services because she saw what it truly was: a dopamine-laced, pseudo self-worth addiction network that robs you of your time and energy and even livelihood (in some cases) and destroys your self image, your connection to the outside world, and for some – their relationship with reality itself.

Truly horrific things us humans manifest sometimes

The safest way to use cloud storage is to not use cloud storage.

I do not want to share all of my family photos, writing samples, and personal info with cloud providers and random people who may or may not have legal or illegal access to those servers, so I am going to store everything locally where only my eyes can see them (and the people in my life who I wish to share them with).

I just put my money where my mouth is and deleted absolutely everything off of Google Drive (in true PSS fashion) because I already have all of these files on flash drives. I also deleted everything off of pCloud except for my #ebook “Littered Thoughts” which I am hosting there because that work of literature is for the public, anyway. That, and I refuse to use Kindle/Amazon/or anything like that. Soon the link will be live on notion.so/olearyxyz (my landing page) and also here on write.as. It will always be a free download and I will never make any money off the #book and I would just rather have people read the thing instead of me making a monetary gain off of it.

Anyway, be back in a bit!

I am going to make a pretty big purchase from REI this month and it is going to more or less be all the backpacking basics that I will need for my trip to the AT. BUT, this stuff is going to be “smaller scale” sort because I am going to be going to Hawn State Park (HSP) in Missouri in June (1st week) to test some gear out, get some gear ready, and get my trail legs back again along with re-learning land nav (to the extent that I need to) and just overall getting the “feel” for backpacking once more as I haven't been on a trip since Fall 2018.

There are many things I need to buy before going on the “big trip” in October, but the things I am going to be carrying with me for a two-nighter at HSP will be more than fine for that trip. Gonna be a little bit on the costly side (not because I am buying expensive gear but because things add-up).

Why Hawn?

It is the biggest park within the closest distance of where I currently live and it will be the easiest to ge in/out of when it comes to getting dropped off/picked up by my ride (I do not drive). It is big enough to accommodate someone who really wants to have some decent isolation on the trail and not have to come into contact with too many people (which is the goal). I will camp at two different spots on each night, and I will cover as many miles as I can in between those nights. Gonna be an absolute blast!

How am I doing this? Don't I have a phone that I have to purchase in June?

Well, yes and no. I can continue to borrow the iPhone 6 from the mom for another month if I need to and I am going to be buying a cheaper phone after that (probably), so, I can afford to get the gear that I need for this trip before the weather turns to red hot shit and strands me indoors for the remainder of the season. It is either early-June or bust in my eyes, and I have to make this happen. Late-May would be even better but that is not going to happen.

So, this is where I am at right now

Be back in a bit!

Fuck jobs

Fuck resumes

Fuck money

Fuck higher education

Fuck droning

Fuck wage-slavery

Fuck television

Fuck everything that doesn't bring you joy and fulfillment and brings forth a brighter you for the next day and the next. Fuck anything that stands in your way or makes you feel like less than what you are. Fuck authority, traditionalism, and “the way things are”.

Be change. Fuck being the same.

I wanted to build/create something cool that people can more or less use as a resource, and I did that with PSShub.online. I created a friendly little intro into ditching Google Services that doesn't go over anyone's head and shows that there ARE in fact alternatives out there.

Do I practice every single one of those tips myself at this present moment? No. I practice the vast majority of them because some of those services basically just don't apply to my Internet/tech habits. BUt I stand by what I created.

Now that I created a thing that I can s.l.o.w.l.y. tweak and update over time (and I will), I think it is time to move on to other life goals. One of those life goals is to do a BIIIIIG solo backpacking trip all by meself out on a big trail (I am thinking the Appalachian Trails (AT)). I want this trip to occur in October when my lease has run out and I can do so safely, and in a smart way. So I m going to do just that.

But back to what I was saying about tech-related goals – have I accomplished them? Not like I am going to become a freelance Web Designer or learn any good amount of code and become a developer, or build up a self-employed resume/portfolio and pretend like I did a bunch of stuff that I didn't do and work for some megacorp. Just not my style. Employment is not really my style, in all honesty and I suppose that makes me fairly lazy, but I don't really care. Being totally honest here.

There is still some desire to build another cool “Web thing” but I have no idea what that thing would be or what it would look like or if that thing will ever even come into being. The only thing I really can be relied upon to do on a daily basis is to #blogblogblog. It seems to be the only thing I do and as far as working for someone else's #blog (or publication or whatever), it is totally out of the question because I simply hate media outlets and I hate working for other people to begin with, so that is also a dead end (for me). Besides I have gone that route before with a celebrity gossip blog in the “gossip era” 2006-2011 and I am done with that scene.

I just want to do things that actually pertain to IRL experiences and you may see on the Internet the lifestyles of digital nomads and how they “hustle” constantly while they live in paradise, but, I fucking hate hustle culture, I don't like doing things for monetary gain, and I would much rather just have the paradise part for myself. I am already fond of nomadism, in general, but being a “digital” one does not appeal at all.

So, I think I am just going to work on the self-supported trip on the AT. A “section-hike” as they call it (which is like a thruhike, but in sections/for shorter periods of time). Good stuff.

Be back in a bit!

Not sure where, yet. I know that the solo hiking trip at Cliff Cave Park has sparked interest/joy for me as far as hiking again, and I want to go backpacking so I have been more or less ranting on Twitter about what backpacking gear I am getting, the costs, the timeframe, the weight, etc. It will be sub-$450 as far as costs go, I still (surprisingly) have a lot of gear that I need, and I am planning the trip for October 2019. Very much so looking forward to it!

So that is what I am up to. Tomorrow is an awards ceremony at my niece's school, I am going to that and bought a dress shirt for it today. Then we are going to the 'rents house for some homemade sandwiches afterwards, and I think it is going to be a good time.

Right now, coffee. 12:24 AM and I am feeling good. I slept like a mofo when I got home from therapy (which was an excellent sesh, by the way) so I am probably going to be up late.

E-cig is charging. Having some Sutliff tobaccy.

That's about all for now

Intentional writing, or otherwise. I am just...without thought. I have my ideapad, note taking app open right next to the twitter screen on this 16 inch monitor but i cannot think of anything I would like to “create”, so it is better to just not “force” it.

I will sleep on it :)

PSShub is terrific but I had to really think about for quite some time before I had everything I needed to

A) write the content B) get the alternatives (to Google services) C) get the inspo to make the thing

So coming back to the last blog post (What Now? What Comes Next?) the answer is: I Have no fucking clue! I have a blog (this one), I wrote an #ebook (“Littered Thoughts”), created PSShub.online, and now I suppose I can put more time and resources into making the ambient Black Metal album I have been wanting to make(?) I know I have wanted to make said album for quite some time and most of the cover artwork, all of the song titles and lyrics are done. I know I want to make a physical release with a limited number of copies (100) on cassette tape and literally GIVE them away to anyone who will distribute them. I even more or less have the tools to make this album (EP, really) and I think it will be a lot of fun, so I think I am going to do it.

PSShub is in good shape and I am proud of what I have built (even though it will always bee a WIP) and I had/am having a blast building it, tweaking it, changing things up here and there. But I am more or less considering it a side project that is 95% “done” and I am ready to move on to something a little bit different.

So what will that something be?

This is something I am going to have to answer for myself.

...when I went to Cliff Cave Park. I hiked the 2-mile primitive trail loop and saw only one adult deer and the rest were fauna (if I am spelling that correct?). They were just as curious about me as I was about them and they stood about 15 feet away from me and just stared. Was really cool. I also stopped and took a break and had a bowl of Sutliff tobaccy in n area where I felt I was the most “remote”. Overall, the day was great and I got 4 miles walked in total.

Also, I called an left a message for my caseworkers boss to let her know that I want to switch caseworkers, and I am going to hear back from her tomorrow, I guess. Looking forward to hearing back.

I also did a moment of work on PSShub tonight (dealing with images) and I am waiting for those to propagate.

Weight loss is inevitable. With the #STLWX getting better every day (warmer), it means I am going to be walking more and more and hiking more and more and with that – weight loss is inevitable. I am already down 7 lbs from the past two months! MY diet (which has been vegetarian for damn near 5 years) is improving, too, in terms of increasing the amount of fruits I am eating daily. I would eat only fruit if I could.

That's all for now.

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